I am not a morning person. It usually takes me awhile to roll out of bed in the morning. Normally I hit the snooze button at least 5 times. That's on a good morning. A bad morning consists of of sleeping for an additional hour in 9 minute increments. 9 minute increments. Why is it 9 minutes? Is it 9 minutes? I heard somewhere it was, and I think I confirmed it before. Anyway.
There is more lucid dreaming that goes on in that 9 minutes than my nocturnal slumber, at least that I can remember. When my alarm goes off the first time, it usually feels like my soul is being ripped out of me by the jaws of a steam shovel. Seriously, I think of that steam shovel in P.D. Eastman's book Are You My Mother? My soul is that baby bird. Sleep is my mother.
Up until the time it died, I had the same digital clock and radio for around 20 years. At least. It was a rectangular. It had a wood-colored top where the small panel of controls sat in the lower left corner. The front had the digital read out as well as the old-style radio dial. The digital numbers had a dimmer switch too.
I remember sneakily reading Garfield books by the digital numbered lights while in bed as a kid. And I remember its soul-ripping klaxon. It pierced my slumber as a child and all the way up through high school. I don't think I took it to college with me, but when I moved into an apartment near home I got the digital blaring banshee back. The default alarm sounded like an elderly deaf woman wailing. I think that's the best description. Remember those deafening radio signals in the story Harrison Bergeron? It was also like that...but for my sleep...my dreams. I usually have no idea what I was dreaming or thinking before it went off.
At some point I started using the radio alarm option. Regardless of the alarm change, waking up was still like leaving a swamp while weighted down with 20 sleeping, easily-irritated little people. Notice, I said little people, not midgets.
At any rate, I think I will have to continue this post later today or tomorrow. This was meant to be a post about the peaceful time and nice experiences I've had in the early morning hours, despite the fact that I am not a morning person.
So, stay tuned for the next post where we may have a special guest appearance from Ted Knight.
